Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps 2 is is the 20th installment of ERBParodies. It is the rematch of Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps, the first battle of Season 1. It was released July 11, 2013.
They call me the Dark Shadow, but I am still very bright,
But you, not so much, challenging me to another fight.
Quit pointing your thumb at me! Stick it up your own ass.
You comic book biobastard! This case will be over fast!
You are just a puppet to Vault-Tec, Bobbling your head to what they say!
I'll once again shoot you up, make the Bloody Mess spray!
My disses are so cold, yet they'll leave you in flames,
My win is more certain than you having a sucky game!
I’ll hack you, and then I’llI decode all of your codes.
You're just a waste (land) of space, so just go walk the Lonesome Road.
I don't want to hear a pip from you, boy, so no tricks.
Don't make me send your adolescent ass back to the "House of Sticks"!
My disses are cold, they hit you harder than a nuke,
You're skilled in hand to hand combat? Then put up your dukes.
I'll interrogate you, then I'll Use and Abuse,
I always catch the criminal, you've not been wrongly accused.
Get ready, Here And Now, I'mma take you to class,
after that, bitch, I will pop a - Cap in yo ass
You left your best friends in World War Two.
Now you are a lonely little man with nothing to do.
I am a great leader, haven't you seen all my companions?
After you've had buttsex, your ass is like the Wreckage of the Canyon!
You're a Holmes wanna-be, that wastes the night and day.
My flows are like radiation, so you better use some Rad Away!
You'll need your Luck Skill on 100, to even cause harm to me!
You're just jealous because my game was one of the best at E3!
Have you solved the case? I have, you're getting ready to lose.
Vault Boy always wins, bitch, you know that's true.
Not the slightest of detective work could EVER stop me!
Watch out, you biohazard bitch! I'm on a killing spree.
Come on in and have a very shitty day.
Welcome to New Vegas, hope you enjoy your stay.
Here's the Truth, you're the reason Fallout was a flop.
I'm also Doubting the fact you can beat this badass cop!
I have evidence to support this accusation, you're a lying sack of shit,
You're not the greatest rapper ever, you're just a kid who thinks he can spit!
Listen Vault Cunt, you're really pissing me off, lad!
I can write better rhymes than you when I scribble on my notepad!
I'm solving a mystery here, all of the clues come together.
You’ll just continue to walk alone forever and ever.
I'm coming in fast, you'll need a cast,
Stop treating the players like lab rats,
I'm entering the Vault and what do I see?
A yellow haired idiot, who looks about three!
I'm taking you down, I wear the crown,
Let's take it downtown, Gonna make you frown,
When I take you down, you dumbass clown,
You look like a depressed fat Charlie Brown!
I'm the cause of the apocalypse, I'm a Hardcore Rockstar,
There's no way that you can hide from me in this L.A. Noire!
My investigations conclude that you're just a silly cartoon,
You've no shelter from my bombshell lines which'll come down, KABOOM.
I'll burn you like coal, Phelps, and then light your ass on fire,
How can you battle me if you can't even find out if someone's a liar?
LA stands for “Licking Ass” in your Case.
You won’t beat me if you can’t even keep up a chase.
You’re just a detective who can’t beat me when he lags.
How about you get a very big taste of my, Doctors Bag.
If you really think you’ll win, then bitch, you’ve had it!
Because I am the one who has the biggest Stim-Package!
Calling yourself a cop, it doesn’t hide your sins.
I’m just like The House, because I Always Win.
Looks like your Weapon Condition is pretty low.
Just call me Vault Man from now on, Mr. Cole!
I'll be winning big in the casino, while you're solving pointless cases,
My rhymes are Platinum, I'll chip your skull, get the hell out of Vegas!
My rhymes have so much flow, like the water you got killed in,
Well goodbye indeed Phelps, Vault Boy just achieved another win.